Breakup Guide for Teens

If you are the one ending the relationship...

How To Break Up

1. Think about who is in your support system – think about who is in your support system – a group of people you can count on for help, care, and encouragement.

2. Remember: It is normal to miss the other person after a breakup, even if they have been mean or abusive. However, missing someone isn’t a good reason to get back together with them, especially if they make you feel bad about yourself.

3. Write down your reasons for ending the relationship/friendship and keep them as a reminder for later on. Give a copy of those reasons to a person in your support system. Let these people know that you are ending your relationship, especially if you are worried about how the other person may react.

4. Decide how you want to go about breaking up with them. If you don’t feel safe, don’t break up in person. Sometimes, the safest way to end a relationship/friendship is by phone or social media, even if it feels impersonal or mean.

5. If you do break up with them in person, always do it in a public place. Have friends or your parents wait nearby and take your cell phone if you have one.

6. Turn off location sharing on Snapchat’s Snap Map and any other forms of location tracking. Be mindful of tagging your location on social media, and set boundaries with your friends if they intend to post photos of you.

If you are the one being broken up with...

How To Handle The End

Ending a friendship or relationship can really hurt, especially if you don’t see it coming. However, while we can’t control our emotions, we can control our actions.

• Understand that your first reaction may not be your best one. You might want to yell or say something mean, but it’s better to take a deep breath and walk away for a bit.

• Use a calming strategy to help yourself cool off. Your bad feelings are valid, but that doesn’t mean you should act on them.

• If the other person says the relationship/friendship isn’t working, believe them. Their feelings are just as real and valid as yours.

• Try not to take it too personally. As you grow, you’ll meet lots of people and figure out what you want in friendships and relationships. This one just wasn’t the right fit — and that’s okay!

  
  

• Take some time to think about why it ended. Ask yourself what you learned from it, what you could have done differently, and what you’d like in your next relationship/ friendship.

• Don’t text or reach out to your ex or old friend right away. It is not your job to comfort them. Staying in touch too soon can make things more confusing or painful.

• Take care of yourself! It’s okay to cry, journal, or eat some ice cream. Healing takes time, but it will get better.

• Remember that there’s nothing wrong with asking for help. Use the 3 P’s! Feeling sad doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you — it means you cared.

• Move forward with a new outlook, and apply the lessons you learned from this relationship/friendship. Breakups and friendship endings are tough, but they help you grow into someone stronger and wiser.